Looks like I keep updating once a month, lolZ.

Collin got me a necklace with my birth-stone in the shape of a heart for out anniversary. It's definitely my favorite gift from him yet. And not just becuz it's shiny, but becuz I can keep it close to me at all times.

Turns out I've been having anxiety attacks. I just thought they were normal mini-freak-outs, like most people have. But the last one had my heart racing so fast I couldn't breathe and I was completely freaking out! Ugh. Collin was there to calm me down, though it took quite a while, embarrassingly enough.

In slightly better news, my boss wants me to be a PIC (person in charge, better known as a shift manager) at work. This is good and bad. Good becuz I can get paid more, bad becuz I wanted to get a different job, lolZ. That and it'll be difficult to do the training she wants (three opening shifts and three closing shifts) when I don't have a car (or a license for that matter) and the bus doesn't run as early and late as I'd have to be there. I guess I have all summer to do the training, so we'll see how it goes.

Collin's b-day is on Tuesday. I got him a 30GB Zune like mine, only red. Hope he likes it, cuz I've gone broke again buying him something! LolZ, even if I did get it for much cheaper thanks to Mary.

Got finals this week and I'll be done with school for the summer, thank the gods! Got a final tomorrow, a paper due and a presentation Wednesday and a final Thursday. Not too bad, except I've got a German Linguitics Take-Home final to do by Wednesday and of course she made is bass-ackwards and I can't use any of the tests or homework to figure out what answers she wants. Ugh.

I'm just excited for the week of the 8th, FOB with Sammi motherfuckers! I've just gotta get my shifts covered, which shouldn't be hard, and I'll be set! Woo!

Saw Fast & Furious last night with Collin. ZOMG, I LOVE those movies, no matter what anyone says! They're totes my faves. It was REALLY good, so I suggest you go see it! (This could just be becuz I ♥ Vin Diesel, lolZ.) Though Paul Walker is looking like a used-up, washed out douche these days, lmfao.

Any-shways, better get workin on this Linguistics final, I've only got page 1 of 4 done! Gah!

♥

It's almost been a month since I updated, whoops! Haha.

I guess quite a bit has gone on since I last wrote in here.

My spring break was terrible, I had some mysterious illness that kept me pretty immobile for at least half of my week off. I spent the first half of the week getting sicker and sicker each day and still going to work, lolz. I literally ate no actual food that week, my stomach is still re-adjusting.

The weather is finally picking up, though it's pretty chilly today. I'm relieved, however, now my allergies are kicking in, of course! I can never remember what kind of allergy medicine doesn't knock me out instantly, lolZ.

Fall Out Boy Trail, DO IT! It's probably the most difficult online game I've played in 4E, seriously! It's totes awesome tho!

I'm over school already, and there's still like 4-5 (maybe 6?) weeks left or some crap like that. Anybody got that remote that controls time from Click? LolZ.

I'm stoked for this weekend! Tomorrow is mine and Collin's 1 year anniversary! I can't believe it's been a whole year already! I love him very much indeed! We're going to a village called Free Soil about an hour and 40 minutes away from here, his parents have a cabin out there. It'll make up for my shitty spring break I'm sure, lolz.

Shibby's to-do list for tonight and tomorrow:
Work 4-9
Bowling with Collin's friends 10-?
Sleep!
Wake up @ 7:30ish
Pack/Bake Cupcakes
Free manicure/pedicure w/Mary @ 10 (woo for beauty schools in West Michigan!)
School by 12
Study for test
Test @ 2
Leaving for Free Soil @ 3ish!

Craziness! Let's not even get into the 3-5 page paper I have to BS for my Ancient Religion class on Monday (due Tuesday!) after I get out of work @ 9. Nothing like procrastinating!

Anyways, I better leave for work before realizing everything I have to do gives me a mental breakdown, lmfao.

PTFO!

♥

From sammipunk:

1. Eskimo

He was the love of my life before I even knew what that meant. He grew up with me, as if he was a second brother. It broke my heart to watch him get older and even more to get sick. I've never really lost anyone, at least not through death, so I didn't really know how to deal. I knew his time was coming, but I wasn't prepared to say goodbye and still feel like shit sometimes that I wasn't there for him in the end.

2. Patrick Stump

LolZ, what can I say about this guy? I've loved him since I first heard his angelic voice when I was 15 years old. I think he's a musical genius and I love his smile and sideburns, lolz. Also, I feel like he's the only humble member of Fall Out Boy left. No one is immune to the effects if fame, but I feel like, for as successful as they've been, his head is still firm on his shoulders.

3. Twilight

I should have guessed it the minute I started reading it in 2006 that people were gonna go insane over it. Hell, I went insane over it. I feel like yes, it's obviously meant for teens, but it's one of the best vampire books I've read since Anne Rice's books. The movie, was obviously bad. I don't think they let Stephenie Meyer have much say in the movie, because I feel like it would have come out better if they did. That isn't to say that I don't love the movie, aside from the horrible casting, lolz, I think it's great! Let's just hope they don't ruin it more by fucking up New Moon.

4. GVSU

On one side, the worst mistake I ever made. On the other side, the best decision I've ever made. I knew my high school sucked when I was there, but I didn't know that it sucked as bad as it did. I wasn't prepared for college at all. No seriously. Not to mention I chose Grand Valley simple because it was aesthetically pleasing and because I wouldn't be going alone. I never really figured out what I wanted to do with my life, and really should have just stuck with community college until I knew, or at least to do my gen ed. crap. However, I've met some awesome, and not so awesome people who have greatly affected my life. The most important being Collin, obv. I'd do it all again, just for him.

5. Going to concerts

Oh how I miss it! From the time my mom said "sure, you can go" I've gone to as many concerts I could. I've probably gone to more concerts than most people do in their lives. I lived for it. Of course, that's when I thought money grew on trees and didn't really care about the future. I've been reduced to only a few concerts a year, the really important ones, you know. But the concert environment has greatly diminished since I've been going. People used to know how to act at a concert. Rocking out without being an asshole and getting someone hurt. Since the age group seems to keep getting smaller, the knowledge of what to do at a concert does too. It's starting to become less about having fun and watching your fave band and more about holy crap making sure you don't die. I feel like an old lady mostly, and prefer either standing at the very front on the barrier or at the back of the pit where I know I won't get killed by a bunch of rabid 14-year-olds.

♥

No really! Try it if you haven't! It's Mmm, Mmm Good. Yeah I hijack Campbell's sayings, what?

Straightened my hair today with Mary's new straightener. Took me about an hour, I did alright. I might post a pic of it later on some other outlet of mine on the internetz.

Tried to read Twitter today, am I stupid or something? I couldn't figure it out, lmfao.

The snow has all but disappeared, I hope it stays that way, and gets warmer too, that'd be nice.

Anyways, guess I'll head to work now and ruin my perfectly nice hair with a JJ hat. Merr.

♥

My Chemical Romance - Desolation Row


If you pay close attention to his solo, he's got a ring on his left hand. I knew that he was engaged or whatever, but I didn't know he'd gone through with it. Maybe this is old news, cuz I do live under a rock these days, but I'm a sad panda nonetheless. *sighs* I guess as long as he's happy I'll live.

Alright, now that I'm done being an emo-fangirl, it's on to the real business.

Surprisingly enough, the other day, I was looking for something nice to wear and realized that I don't have any nice clothes! Well, that's not true, I do have a couple of nice shirts, but by couple, I literally mean like 2. I've worn every single variation I could come up with and I'm sick of it! This is a bit crazy to me, becuz I LOVE wearing my band shirts, and I've got TONS of those. But they really just attribute to me looking like I'm 15, which I've been sick of for years. I'm not saying I'm gonna trash all my band shirts, I wouldn't do that, I love them too much. I do however, want and NEED to get some new clothes. But of course, I don't even know why I bother complaining, it's not like I'll ever have money to buy any clothes. So here we have another useless rant, lolZ.

In other news, my 1 year with Collin is coming up (March 20th). It's kind of crazy to think that a whole year has gone by. I've honestly never been one to think about marriage, seeing as how most of the ones I've witnessed have either been bad or broken. He makes me think about it though, a lot. I don't know if he thinks about it or not, but I do know that we sure as hell don't talk about it. Now I'm not saying that I want to marry him tomorrow, I just want to know that he DOES want to marry me, and at this point, I'm not sure he does. He has bad evasive maneuvers to avoid the subject, at first I figured it was just a typical male reaction to the idea, but now it just seems like it's ME he doesn't want to marry. I'm not doubting his love for me at all, I just question its depth. *sighs* But I'm probably just overreacting, that's what everyone else keeps telling me anyways.

Anyways, I think I'm gonna go do some homework, since I don't work till 5. Ptfo.

FOR REALS!

Ugh, I am so done with this weather! I'm too little to deal with 12 and under degree weather every day. (Can I get an Amen? LolZ)

Went on a date with Collin the other day. I was actually able to pay for once, woo! Dinner and a movie (Underworld:Rise of the Lycans). It was lots of fun! The movie was freaking amazing, so if you haven't seen it yet, fucking get on it!

Got a new, well used, entertainment center for my room. I've got like, 4 pieces of furniture now, woo! Someone in another building was throwing it away, and it was in very good condition, so I figured "hey, what the hell? it's free!" Maybe I'll take some new pics of my room! :]

Anyways, I'm gonna head to work so I can munch on my Goldfish in peace. [No food in the computer lab!] Ptfo!

♥

P.S. Don't you just love my new icon? I do! Teehee.

I'm sitting here in the computer lab at school, between classes, and I'm completely exhausted! I got like 7 hours of sleep, I think, so I don't know what the deal is. Maybe it's cuz I know I won't be home till 10:30ish tonight, ugh.

Still no phone, but I get paid Tuesday, so we'll see where that goes.

Mary got a new laptop, so she gave me her PC. I've only used it once so far, but that's cuz I've been busy doing last minute homework and working, lolZ.

Gotta do dishes when I get home tonight after work, I've been avoiding it for days, haha.

Had a Jagerbomb last night, it was not good. Everyone agreed though, and they like those. Can Jager go bad? Maybe it was the Redbull...*shrugs*

This kid in my anthro class today says to me "You always wear such colorful shoes. Your boots are colorful, your shoelaces are hot pink, you're just so colorful!" My response "Umm, thanks? What can I say, I like color." Was that a compliment? A random observation? *shrugs* Who knows, lolZ, I'll pretend it was a compliment.

Anyways, better go do something constructive before they kick me out for just browsing the internetz while people need computers. PTFO!

♥

For me, depression = insomnia, and it's reared its ugly head yet again. I wish I could just sleep all the time, like I prefer.

Nothing is wrong, yet everything is wrong.

My phone got shut off, cuz I'm broke. I can't buy my books, becuz I'm broke. I just got a raise at work, but only becuz I bugged the manager and after a year of working there I get 18 fucking cents. That's it. I'm almost done with school and scared shitless becuz I still don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with a mediocre skill in German. I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I'm starting to take my loneliness out on my boyfriend by suffocating him, awesome.

I need a break, hell, I'd take a nap, but I can't sleep becuz I'm too sad/worried/stressed.

The worst part is, I know these are legitimate fears and problems, but instead of dealing with them like a normal person (whatever that means) I become completely irrational and emotional.

I can't even take up drinking or smoking pot as a bad decision for an outlet for my problems, becuz I'm broke! Ugh.

Anyways, now that I've ranted, I'm gonna go stare at the ceiling until I finally fall asleep at some ungodly hour, only to wake up a few hours later.

Goodnight.

So, I didn't post about the Fall Out Boy show, whoops!

It was one of their greatest shows yet (since before FUCT anyways) and I've been to quite a few. I took a video, which was all I could do becuz I broke my camera, lolZ. I'll get it on Youtube one of these days.

Speaking of Fall Out Boy, their latest video for America's Suitehearts is...well...bad. Probably their worst one yet. In fact, I dislike it so much that I almost dislike the song, and I really love that song. They've always done their own unique thing when it comes to their videos, but nothing like this. It seemed to me like a bad cartoon on a Beatles acid trip. Not even kidding. The concept isn't the terrible part, simply the execution. I'm sorry to be so harsh about it, but someone needs to say it and I haven't really looked to see everyone else's opinion. Thoughts?

My winter break wasn't much of a break at all. Mostly working. Got a few days off for Christmas, went home to see the Fam. The house seems emptier without Schmo, but not much can be done to change that. Kevin is looking...old, lolZ. I forget that he's going to be 18. I remember when I was taller than him, and that was quite a long time ago. Spent part of Christmas eve with Mary and her family like I usually do, interesting time, as usual, lolZ.

My mom got me a few things for Christmas, pajama pants, lotion (which I can never have to much of) chocolate and a gift card to Applebee's. A lot more than I was expecting, and I feel bad becuz I couldn't get her anything. I'll have to be sure to get her something for her birthday, which is coming up soon.

Collin got me the Sailor Moon anime series on dvd. It was my fave back in 95 when I was 8, lolZ. I mentioned it like once, he got lots of points for remembering! Mary and Luke got me the wall adapter for my Zune, which is what I told them to get me if they were going to get me anything. Still have to get them their gifts, hopefully that will be soon. Collin's parents got me the Clandestine mittens! I was so excited, he told them about them of course, they're super warm! Also, a dvd with the episodes of Xena where she turns good, most likely from Dad, cuz we talk about Xena a lot, lmfao.

Poor Collin got Mono. Have you ever had to not kiss the person you love for like, weeks at a time? It wasn't as hard when I didn't see him, which was for like the first week, becuz he was the most contagious. Though that was hard enough in itself. But when I finally could see him, I couldn't kiss him becuz it still wasn't safe, came so close so many times, lolZ. I love his kisses for sure. Luckily, I did not get Mono and his liver and spleen (which become inflamed and are in danger of bursting when you have Mono if you strain yourself too much) are well intact and working fine! He's well on the recovery road, though he still gets exhausted pretty quickly (they say the fatigue is what lasts the longest) but thankfully that's all, and I'm ok too! [You can't get Mono if you've already had it, but I have no idea if I have had it, so it was pretty scary for a while there!]

School has started again. I hate it already, lolZ. Mostly becuz my first class of the week is with the professor that I loathe, but my second one makes up for that I guess. I wish I had like, another week where I didn't have to work or anything before school, then maybe I'd feel more prepared.

Saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yesterday with Collin and Connor. It was a really awesome movie (and not just becuz Brad Pitt was in it, lolZ) I think the overall tone of the story was sad, but it had lots of funny and cute parts. Like this old guy recalling the 7 times he got struck by lightning and them actually showing it. TOTALLY hilarious. Cate Blanchett did great too, she looked really pretty through most of it. And of course Brad was gorgeous when he stopped being really old. And even when he had some gray hair he looked great! Point is, I highly recommend it.

Just read The Shining. A little late, huh? LolZ. I was watching something on the Travel channel about haunted places in America and saw something about the hotel Stephen King based the hotel in the story on and was like "I never read that book, I think I will". And so I did. It creeped me out a lot, but that's always a good thing in my book. Collin says there's a made for tv movie that follows the book more closely than the famous version, I would like to see both. I watched it once maybe when I was younger, all I really remember from it is Jack being a creeper and busting through the door, lolZ. Not sure if I'll be able to start anything new, I'm working a bit more than I did last semester and I'll be slacking off on homework enough as it is, haha.

I'm always up for suggestions on a good book though! Maybe I'll have time to read on the bus ride to work on the weekends, lemme know!

Thinking about everything I just wrote, it all seems superficial. I apologize if that's how it seems to you. It kind of is, to be honest. I'm still stuck in a financial pit, and life still seems pretty depressing aside from Collin. I babble nonsense to keep from getting too emo. Hopefully that will change.

Anyways, off to watch some Xena before bed, PTFO!

♥

Lmfao Patrick Stump!

Fall Out Boy was SO awesome! Need I say more?

I guess I'll post again tomorrow since I don't have a thing to do after I get back to GR.

PTFO!

♥ ♥ ♥

It's never the right time to lose the ones you love, even if you know it's going to happen.



Eskimo is gone. And though I'm relieved, because he suffered a lot towards the end, it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I've never known a loss like this, and he was a huge part of my life. I loved him very much and I'm just sad I wasn't there. I wasn't there to make sure he wasn't scared, and to make sure he knew I loved him. I just hope he knew.

I'm afraid that Siska will follow him soon. I'm afraid because they were my mom's children just as much as me and my brother and losing them both will crush her. And again, I won't be there.

However, there's no time to mourn, I've got a final to work on. No professor is going to care that my dog just died.

R.I.P. Eskimo, you were the best dog anyone could ask for, you will be greatly missed.



</3

Is there a such thing as winter arthritis? Cuz I think I have it, my hands are killing me! Looks like I've gotta start wearing my Scooby Doo pajama bottoms under my jeans, and double up my socks. Yeah, I get that cold.

Spent the week off with Collin, that includes Thanksgiving. His family is hilarious, also huge. His baby cousin Jack is adorable and seems to have a little baby crush on me. Collin was very jealous, lolZ, jk.

Collin and I played and beat Little Big Planet. It's probably the coolest game since Guitar Hero. The fact that there's a billion other online levels makes me happy, since the game only has like 7 worlds.

Schools almost done for the semester, like literally. At the end of this week classes will officially be done and I just have finals next week. Speaking of school, I heard that this Prof who teaches some fiction lit class does all vampire novels, I'm so all over that for next year! Lmfao. (I'm totes serious too)

Next weekend I'll be in Ferndale chillin with sammipunk for the first time in FOREVER! Gah, I'm so excited! (And not just cuz we're gonna be rockin out to TAI, RJA and FOB, lolZ)

Anyways, I better get back to making dinner, cuz I'm hungry! PTFO!

♥

So I've been avoiding posting anything on here, mostly becuz I feel like anything I say is just a waste of time and internet space. But, I'm bored and don't feel like doing homework that isn't due till next week, so here I am!

The holidays are fast approaching. Ever wonder why people only refer to Thanksgiving and Christmas as "The Holidays"? I do. I mean, Easter, Valentine's Day, Halloween, The 4th of July, these are important American holidays too, no?

I've come to the conclusion that I've always liked being different. I mean, I'm dark skinned, while both my parents are white (well my dad is Mexican, but he never really looked like it) I was born in a different country, I was born 2 months early, I'm really short, the list goes on. I've really always thought of my differences as something that made me a little bit special, even if I'm not that different from a lot of people.

I recently feel like the world around me thinks it's not ok to be different, that I'm not ok. I've always been proud of my German heritage, but taking classes here just shows me the bad that people focus on. Yes, Hitler was a bad man and did terrible things, but hello, does anyone remember what the British, now Americans did to the Natives here? Or how until recently I've been able to use my government issued Permanent Resident card for anything, proof of identification, age, etc. I guess that works until you're 21 and all of the sudden the card is "something that's never been seen before" therefore MUST be fake and not legitimate. Is that lack of education or just plain prejudice, I can't tell anymore. Either way I gave in and got a state ID. Don't worry, the actual driver's license is coming next.

I've also come up on the realization that I'm almost done with school. If I'm right, I could be done next year. Don't know why I was so surprised when I found out. And now I'm terrified becuz I have no flipping idea what I'm gonna do with my mediocre studies of German and Anthropology. All I know is that I owe way too much money not to get a better job than Jimmy John's after I graduate, but I don't even know where to start and I don't feel like I'm ready for that. Then again, as they say, the world's not waiting.

I went home last weekend to help Mary paint her dad's livingroom and earn some extra cash. We managed to get it done in one day, which was good. It seemed like everyone's drama was just waiting for me to get into the vicinity. My little bro's gotten in a little trouble lately with his newly acquired driver's license. It's nothing serious at all, but of course my mom flipped out. Why do they always look to me to solve their problems? While I call him little, he'll be 18 in April. He's always been more mature than he should be and everyone makes mistakes. I think my mom's just afraid of losing him, but pushing him out the door isn't going to make him wanna stay, you know? My mom is also angry with me, again. At first becuz I couldn't come home for Thanksgiving, but work/money situations are at fault there, it's nothing either of us could help. And then becuz I didn't stay home longer to see her. She knew what I was coming home for, it wasn't a social visit. And now becuz I'm only coming home for a few days for Christmas. I need to work over winter break, she of all people should understand that. Besides, I don't even have a place to sleep there anymore and overall, staying longer than 3 days would be pointless, especially since we never really celebrate becuz she has to work through it. Besides, she never makes me feel like she really wants me there anyways, so why would I put myself in that situation, it just makes me feel like shit.

I was shocked to see my brother, it looks like he's gotten taller and much skinnier. I do regret not having time to see him longer since a lot has changed for him recently. Hopefully he'll take me up on my offer to come up here over his break. My dogs broke my heart. They're in worse condition than I could have imagined and than they ever should be. I wish my mom would just put them down. I don't see how watching them die a little more everyday could be much worse than just putting them out of their misery. They've both had good long lives. And sure it'll be hard, but sometimes you have to know when enough is enough.

As long as I'm complaining, I've been feeling more like a tenant than a roommate. There's hardly anything left in the apartment (aside from what's in my room) that makes me feel like I belong. I know it's mostly not on purpose, but that doesn't really change the fact. It's not really worth mentioning, but then again, neither is anything in this entry.

I'm going to hop off the emo train for a few minutes to talk about a few things that have made me happy. Numero Uno, seeing Fall Out Boy with sammipunk on December 14th! I was skeptical at first, but I found that I can't stop loving them, even when I hate them, lolZ. Aside from that, I miss Sammi hardcore and am definitely looking forward to spending a few days with her!

Numero Dos, Twilight. Now I know a lot of people were disappointed with the outcome, and part of me was too, but I haven't been excited over a movie in a very long time, and so seeing this book that I love so much put on screen, even if it's kind of skewed and off-base, made me immensely happy. Let me sum it up by saying this, it's was good for what it was, and there's always room for better. Kind of like Panic(!) at the Disco's last cd, lmfao.

Numero Tres, (but really number one) is Collin. I find myself more in love with him than before, if that's possible. He's everything I never even thought to wish for, and if there's a God, I thank Him everyday for bringing us together. Yeah, that's how serious this is, lolZ.

On that note, I've started taking birth control. Is that too much of a hush-hush subject to bring up on LiveJournal? Oh well this is my journal, so fuck it! Mostly becuz as much as I love Collin, I do NOT want to have a baby right now, and while we're always safe, I'd rather be WAY safe than sorry. P.S. This was my idea and not just a ploy for him to be able to get some without protection, lmfao. That said, I don't think there's any exam more awkward than the one for birth control. At least that I know of, and now I have to get one every year! Great, lolZ.

I think my list of ramblings is winding down. Guess it's time to go watch Xena! LolZ.

♥

(Stole this from the guy on the left)

Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. I mean, I believed what I was told, but seeing it is a whole different story.

♥

Shibby is exhausted, but having a great day so far. Just thought I'd let you know, lolZ.

Also, this should be pretty awesome!

Twilight Soundtrack:
1. Supermassive Black Hole (Muse)
2. Decode (Paramore)
3. Full Moon (The Black Ghosts)
4. Leave Out All The Rest (Linkin Park)
5. Spotlight(Twilight Mix) (MuteMath)
6. Go All The Way(Into The Twilight) (Perry Farrell)
7. Tremble For My Beloved (Collective Soul)
8. I Caught Myself (Paramore)
9. Eyes On Fire (Blue Foundation)
10. Never Think (Rob Pattinson)
11. Flightless Bird, American Mouth (Iron & Wine)
12. Bella's Lullaby (Carter Burwell)

That is all.

♥

Holy shiz, I haven't updated since before my b-day!

Life is progressively moving forward, but that doesn't mean a lot has been accomplished.

I've sorta been boycotting the internetz, but that's mainly becuz my laptop broke.

A little birdy told me that FOB is playing The Night 89x Stole Christmas. I didn't think I'd get this excited, and let me tell you, I'm STOKED! For a while I thought I was losing faith in my boys, but my reaction tells me that they've still got me hooked! I miss ogling Patrick at completely inappropriate times, lolZ.

I guess I have to apologize. If you're not in a 15 mile radius of me, I'm completely oblivious to what's been going on with you. I feel bad, really I do! I miss my friends, few in number they may be.

The most eventful thing that I can think of to happen to me would be cutting myself at work. Serrated knife to the wrist, and NO, it wasn't on purpose, lolZ. Almost got a vein (that I didn't even know was there, btw!) like literally almost. You could see it from the gaping hole in my wrist. Yikes. Maybe I'll take a picture of the scar. (This happened like 2 1/2 weeks ago.)

OH! And, mercy_dnt_think cut my hair! It's about shoulder length these days, maybe you'll get a pic of that too. I love it, it's a lot easier to handle, lolZ.

I'm approaching 7 months with the person I consider the love of my life. Hopefully he won't realize what a douche I am and I'll get 70 years with him. (ZOMG, SHIBBY talking about life-partnering with someone?!) He wants to move to California and he wants me to come with him. Could I leave it all behind? (Haven't I already?) Even so, 2200 miles is pretty far.

Anyways, I've gotta head to class pretty soon, and I'm wearing heels today, so the treck across campus will take a bit longer, lolZ. PTFO!

♥

LolZ thank you A Day To Remember.

So I know that the few (if any at this point) who read my journal are going "holy shit she updated!" only to crash into disappointment when it's a miniscule, barely there update.

While I've had plenty of time to update, I can't seem to sit in front of the computer for longer than it takes to check myspace, facebook and my email, lolZ.

Aside from being flat broke, things are great! I still don't feel completely worthy of Collin, but am glad beyond words that he sticks with me and my ridiculousness.

As I hope all the important peeps know, my 21st birthday is on 8/10! Now I don't expect any gifts from anyone, but if you really wanna get me something, here are a couple things I'd love you for getting me!

(cds)
Katy Perry- one of the boys
Coldplay- viva la vida
Tyga- no introduction

(fanclub renewals)
Gym Class Heroes- The Varsity Club
Fall Out Boy- Overcast Kids (Diamond Elite status)

(randoms)
Victoria Secret Heavenly Kiss perfume

Feel free to completely ignore all that as well.

I don't really have anything else to say, except that if you want my new permanent west Michigan address, let me know!

Picspam from shows and etc. coming soon!

♥

P.S. I just heard Conan say that Justin Timberlake is pissed that Ashton Kutcher is taking all the credit for making trucker hats cool again cuz Timbaland did? (at least that's what I think he said) And let me just say that they're ALL wrong becuz Patrick Stump has been wearing trucker hats since he was a baby and no one can deny the flux of hats worn by teenies and wannabes since FOB got huge. Thank you and good night.

On the one hand we have betrayal and abandonment. On the other we have relinquishing and progression.

I'm going and I'm not looking back, I've done that far too much as it is.

Rebuilding something and taking care of someone can put things in perspective pretty quickly.

Holy Hannah Montana I'm sore!

It's a hard thing seeing someone you used to look up to and finding out they've slipped so far below anything you could have ever imagined. Guess it's the best who fall hard as well.

Someone asked me if I wanted to have kids today. I'm not fully confident that I could take care of a child when I can hardly take care of myself. I guess we'll stay tuned to see how that turns out, lolZ.

Metalocalypse @ midnight and then, does it still count as drunk dialing if the call is planned between both parties before hand? I mean, there's still inhebriation involved, lmfao.

Ptfo.

Lmfao sammipunk.

So let's recap.

The garage sale went better than I expected, sold quite a few things, came out with 42 dollars.

Found out that my favorite teacher from elementary school, Ms.Menard died on Tuesday. It made me really sad, becuz she was a wonderful lady. Even so, I kind of feel like the elves in Lord of the Rings who don't really know how to handle these kinds of situations becuz they've never had to deal with death or loss. I feel like I should be more upset, she was a really important person in my life.

In other news, spent the weekend at Sammi's again. Went to dinner where lots of funny things were said, like the subject of this entry as well as others I can't quite remember.

After that Carrie straightened my hair and then we headed out to the Ritz in Warren to see Overloaded play. Not only did I not have to pay to get in, but I got a 21+ bracelet! I love it when people don't pay attention. Overloaded was pretty sweet and I had an awesome time, aside from the creepy dude my dad's age who tried to buy me a beer. Erik, the guitarist from Overloaded is awesome! His hair rocks, he's super talented and extra nice. I hope Carrie puts some moves on him, lolZ. She's one of my favoritest people ever and she deserves to be happy.

This morning sammipunk and I went to breakfast and then she brought me home. I pretty much did nothing and fell asleep. I did some more cleaning and packing. I'm almost ready to go, two weeks left people! Went to dinner with Mary and Luke, which was fun as usual, mostly completely random.

I think I'm going to talk about Collin now, lolZ. I feel like no one really understands how serious I am about this kid, not that I go spouting that around either. I guess it puts less pressure on us that way? Idk. He's one of the nicest, coolest and sweetest guys I've ever met. I'll be the first to admit that I've always fallen fast and hard. But Collin is honest and you can tell he means everything he says, so I feel completely safe with how I feel about him. I see us being together for a long time and the crazy thing is, I'm happy all the time. Usually by now, the butterflies and the warm fuzzy feeling has faded, but even when I'm down he knows just what to say to make me feel better. I'm just really glad I have him in my life.

Anyways, I think I'm gonna watch tv till I pass out. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Ptfo.

♥

I guess it's been a while since I last updated.

My mini-weekend with Collin was amazing. We went golfing, which was fun even though I sucked horribly at it. We spent most of our time just lounging around together, can't complain there.

Panic(!) was surprisingly fun. Pictures below.

Honda Civic Tour

Spent the weekend with sammipunk, Chris and Carrie. On Sunday we went to Canadia to watch the Red Bull Air Races. They didn't even want to see my G-Card on the way in! The way back was ridiculously long, but we managed with not too much drama. They're def a few of my all time favorite people.

Spent a ridiculously long amount of time cleaning my room. Like completely. Took down all my posters and washed the walls. They were disgusting. Took apart my 10 year old entertainment center and threw that bitch out. Spent yesterday organizing some stuff for a garage sale next week and also just getting all of my things where I know where they are. It was quite a tiring endeavor, but it had to be done.

In awesome news, I'll be off to Grand Rapids at the end of the month! Don't worry kids, I'll be back for all the important stuff, like Warped, (Hey)Chris and my birthday. Work is guaranteed out there and I do need a job, desperately.

Anyways, there isn't really much else that I wanted to say. Ptfo.

♥